I think that the first time I realized that language and writing could get me something that I wanted was a couple years ago when I was a sophomore in high school. I really wanted to do a forign exchange program that would allow me to spend a semester abroad i n Spain. I brought it up almost everynighgt at the dinner table and everyday on the car rides home from school. I would look up websies adn show them to my parents to try and convinvce them to let me go. I had funally gotten my mom to agree but it was taking my dad a little longer. That is when I decided to start writing.
I met with my principle at school and we started looking at the different programs that I could choose from. I started printing out the applications and filling them in. I got recommendations adn everythjing. Finally and I dont know how, but my dad was on board. I really really wanted to go and I made this happen by using spoken and written language. My dedication to the application process showed that I was serious adn I shouldn't wait around for things to happen. but I need to go out and make them happen.
Hi Jill, You are doing much "telling" here. Might you SHOW instead? Can you take the reader to the moment when you got the thing or made the thing (the written thing) that really mattered?
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